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With unemployment rates skyrocketing around the world, many people are finding they have a lot of extra time on their hands to do what they love: scuba diving. But why dive just to bide your time until a new job comes along? Throw away your suit and tie and make your wetsuit your permanent office attire.
Welcome to paradise…
When most people think of diving jobs, warm sandy beaches and tropical locales come to mind. There are several sites that have listings for dive masters and dive instructors in the tropics. Unless you are lucky enough to already live in an exotic location, you’ll probably have to move. These types of jobs can be based on land, or from a floating base (ex. Cruise ship or live-aboard dive boat). Personality and patience go a long way in this kind of role; after all, you are dealing with vacationers who sometimes have high expectations, but rusty skills.
Best of all: You work in Margaritaville
Worst of all: People place their life in your hands
Diving for science…
Are you curious? Analytical? Like to travel the world with a purpose that goes beyond sightseeing? If so, a job as a scientific diver might be right for you. Usually scientific divers are scientists first and divers second. They use SCUBA as a way to study their science and collect data. There are an abundance of sciences that want to go under the waves to explore and learn. Many underwater scientists are marine biologists and geologists, but lots of other disciplines also benefit from oceanographic research. Want to learn more? Check out the American Academy of Underwater Sciences for a better idea of how to pair science with SCUBA.
Best of all: You’re not just having fun, you’re doing something good, too
Worst of all: Scientific expeditions are very budget dependent, so forget buying that Ferrari with your wages
A picture is worth a thousand dives…
Have you ever wished you could capture the beauty you see during a dive and keep it forever? Underwater videographers and photographers do just that! Though training helps in this industry, you don’t have to have it to be successful. All you really need is a little creativity and a good eye for finding critters and capturing the moment. Good equipment (in particular strobes) helps too, transporting you from novice to professional-level shots. Selling your work product to TV or magazines pays well and gets you an enormous amount of recognition. Can’t quite convince NatGeo to publish your work? Try your hand at working for a dive shop taking videos of the customers diving.
Best of all: Your arm muscles will be totally buff from carting all the equipment
Worst of all: You will grow tired of saying to fellow divers “That’s a camera bucket, not a mask rinse tank!”
Head scuba widget tester…
Like all other divers, until you grow gills you will need to rely on scuba equipment. Diving equipment is big business, with numerous companies such as Sherwood, Zeagle, Oceanic, Cressi, Akona, O’Neill, and Mares producing tons of items every year. These companies need people to keep them running, and who better to hire than people who love SCUBA! Getting hired by a dive gear company is not easy. Like any job, you will need the necessary skills for the position and there has got to be an opening for you to get in. As you can imagine, there isn’t that much turnover for great jobs like these. Frequently check each company’s website and go to the DEMA job board; you might just get lucky.
Best of all: A steady job with company discounts!
Worst of all: um…I can’t think of any
On the hunt for black gold…
Granted oil rigs have not gotten a lot of positive attention lately, but plenty already exist, each with their own needs for maintenance and repair underwater. Offshore diving is dangerous and requires a lot of technical skills, but it pays really well. You are probably not going to do this job for life, but you can put away a nice nest egg while living on a oil rig for some time. Other kinds of commercial diving applications include bridge and dam inspection, and building underwater structures. Want to up the ante even more? HazMat diving has the highest risk and the most training requirements, but also the biggest payout.
Best of all: $$$$$$$
Worst of all: You may begin to glow in the dark
Bigfoot would never be seen in the ocean - he doesn't like getting his hairy feet wet.
The myths and stories surrounding the oceans color our view of the beauty (and the horror) of the saline depths. Legends such as Ahab and the Whale, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Bermuda Triangle, Jaws, James Bond, and Jessica Alba in a wetsuit/scuba gear have all played a part in shaping our modern day perception of the seas, for better or for worse.
The idea of scuba diving in the oceans seems to elicit particularly strong opinions from most people, usually falling into two categories: “way cool” or “hell no.” Though I am probably biased, the people falling into the “hell no” category usually rely upon a scuba or ocean misconception to support their perspective. Below are some of the better ones I have heard.
I don’t want to try diving because…
“Sasquatch of the Sea may come get me.”
It is silly to think that man is aware of everything that lives in the ocean. New species are being identified all the time. But the notion that an aquatic version of Sasquatch is going to pop out from behind the next coral head is more cinema than science. Sailors swearing they saw mermaids most likely viewed narwhals. The Loch Ness Monster was a cardboard cutout. I’m not being cynical, just logical (unless of course I’m on a night dive, then all bets are off and I’m sure Nessie is right behind me.) And, if (on the off chance) a mystical beast does live in the seas, surely it has something better to do than to look for me or another diver, like avoiding photographers from the Enquirer.
“I will be eaten by a giant ______.” (Fill in the blank: octopus, shark, man-eating conch, radioactive seahorse, etc.)
Jacques Cousteau once said that “Man, of all the animals, is the only one to consider himself a great delicacy.” Just because there are some large predatory animals living in the oceans does not mean that they are gunning for every diver that jumps in. Divers, in general, are too big and too loud (i.e. intimidating) for most creatures to consider us a food source. Not to mention that a human’s bone/muscle mass to fat ratio is darn near indigestible and definitely not appetizing, even to a great white shark. This is not to say caution be damned: I would advise against bronco riding a bull shark and parading about the sea floor with an octopus as a fashion accessory. But, to answer the question from countless co-workers, airplane seatmates, relatives, and even the little old lady who walks her chihuahua by my house every day at 9am, no, I am not concerned that something will eat me while scuba diving.
“Banana hammocks and wet suits are required to go diving.”
To many, scuba garb can be more intimidating than jumping into a sea of sharks. Contrary to popular (but misinformed) belief, a nut-hugging speedo and fat-magnifying wetsuit are not required to scuba dive, though some divers do embrace the look. Most divers just wear what is comfortable to them. After all, the fish really don’t care what you look like and most dive boats are happily devoid of mirrors.
“If it isn’t the Great Barrier Reef, it isn’t worth diving.”
Talk to an enthusiastic non-diver, and they will eventually ask you if you have dived the GBR, apparently the perceived Shangri-la of diving sites against which all destinations pale. Since when did the Great Barrier Reef become the Magna Cum Laude of the diving world? Perhaps it was 30 years ago when that was the pinnacle of dive options. Times have changed, mate. Is the GBR nice? Sure. Are there other destinations across the globe that are better? Yes! A diver can explore fascinating, historic wrecks in places like the Baltic Sea and off the coast of the Carolinas. We can swim with pods of manta rays in Yap and dolphins in Puerto Rico. The Cenotes of Mexico bring a whole mystic vibe to diving while the ruins that sit in the water off of Alexandria, Egypt allow a diver to bubble inches from a Wonder of the Ancient World. The world is full of great dives, some tough, some scenic, all fantastic. Chances are, great diving exists right in every diver’s backyard, no passport needed.
“Divers all have 3-day old stubble, a bad crew cut and a tattoo that says Mom.”
I’m pretty sure that the people holding this belief also mentioned the GBR thing. Yes, once upon a time scuba was reserved for the “heartiest” of humans who grunted and spat, while grabbing their god-given jewels before entering the water. Also, there was a time when most people thought the world was flat. So…has anything Nostradamus promised come to fruition lately? No? Then let’s let go of this Neanderthal notion of diving, shall we? Most dive boats hold a healthy combination of divers that are old and young, male and female, and (possibly concerningly) a wide variety of physical fitness. Scuba diving is now done (literally) on the 4 corners of the globe in every language you can name. I will say, however, that many die-hard divers have aquatic themed tattoos. Why? I have no idea, other than their conviction for the sea. I don’t have one myself, but am shopping for one now. I’m thinking a whaleshark with a wave. Maybe a Mom whaleshark?
Insane amounts of coral ...
Marathon and the Middle Keys offer lots to do and see underwater. Most sites are extensive spur-and-groove formations, with some well-developed patch reefs thrown in for fun. Coral can’t seem to get enough of the place, with elkhorn, brain, pillar, star, staghorn and (unfortunately) fire coral all growing in abundance. Lobsters and moray eels are found at almost every site, and stone crab, those tasties of the deep, can also be spotted. Though the area boasts some nice dive sites, an added bonus is its proximity to the rest of the keys, both north and south, making the scuba options almost limitless. Some of the fun dives here include:
Sombrero Reef – If you have gone diving in Marathon, chances are you have been to Sombrero Reef, a traditional favorite of the Marathon dive portfolio marked by a 140-foot lighted tower. The site sports your typical spur and groove formation with wide channels of brilliant white sand separating towering coral heads. Schools of grunt and snapper buzz the spot while solitary barracuda stand guard over their turf. The best part of this site is a photo op at “The Arch” an 8-foot high natural coral bridge teeming with colorful coral and tropical fish.
Delta Shoals – Eastward of Sombrero Light lies Delta Shoals, where a vast network of coral canyons fan seaward from a sandy shoal, offering great diving amid elkhorn, brain, and star coral heads. Like so many other Key sites, this one is pretty shallow – 25 feet max. But the sea life is plentiful and the coral is healthy and colorful. Two interesting wrecks lie in this area. The Delta Shoals Barge behind the east end features typical shallow water soft corals and an abundance of fish life, perfect for snorkeling. The other is the Ivory Coast Wreck, a sunken slave ship lost in 1853, although little is recognizable any more. Both wrecks offer plenty of places for sea life to move in and set up shop.
Thunderbolt Wreck – Sunk intentionally as a dive attraction in March, 1986, the Thunderbolt now sits upright in 115 feet of water. Her superstructure is coated with colorful sponge, coral, and hydroid, providing refuge and sustenance to large angelfish, jacks, and a variety of deep-water pelagic creatures. At 188 feet, this former lightning research vessel is the biggest and the best wreck in the Marathon area. Divers can spend hours investigating the ship’s structure, including a large reel off the bow and enormous twin props perfect for photo shoots. Large hatches off the main deck open into the engine compartments where it is possible to descend into the hull to 110 feet.
Adelaide Baker – This historic steamship wrecked on January 28, 1889 while bound for Savannah with a load of sawn timber. At the time of the ship’s demise, it was 153 feet long with a beam of 35 feet and a hold of 21 feet, though now what remains covers over 1400 feet of the ocean floor. Divers of all levels can enjoy this shallow wreck, including two large steam-venting stacks that are still relatively recognizable. The rubble strewn floor houses a nice array of macro creatures, especially those that like to hide in cracks and crevices.
Neoprene is not the most forgiving of fabrics...
Creature of the Deep Terror (the Unknown Fish Phobia) -
Rationally, I know that 99.999999999% of all creatures in the ocean have no intention (or appetite) to eat a human. We are too big, too bony and we tend to fight back when chewed. For some reason, however, my Creature of the Deep Terror tends to increase the moment visibility decreases. The minute I can no longer see clearly (say during a night dive or when the diver in front of me kicks up silt) I start to envision unknown sea creatures stalking me from the shadows, just waiting to use their teeth, tentacles or other persuasive parts to turn me into dinner. This phobia seems to be shared by many, as according to Jacques Cousteau: “Man, of all the animals, is probably the only one to regard himself as a great delicacy.”
Fear of the Numismatic Museum – Many of the most pristine and prolific dive spots on the planet are located in very remote locations. When planning a dive trip to an out-of-the-way place, I have a recurring fear that my destination will be devoid of topside activities. This is not to say that I spend much time topside on scuba trips, but it is nice to have dry options for when the sea is too choppy or I need to get back on a plane within 24 hours. The Numismatic Museum is not the place where people with breathing problems go to study ancient inhalers, as I originally thought. The term ‘numismatic’ means the study or collection of currency. This extravaganza, located in Aruba, houses 30,000 historic coins from around the world. In an effort to protect these coins without using a vault the Arubans put the most boring name they could think of on the museum to deter any shred of interest or excitement about the place or its contents. I hear the name is working so well they are able to leave the doors unlocked at night. Places like this fuel my fear of topside boredom.
Creature of the Reef Terror (Known Fish Phobia) – There are certain reef dwellers that give me the willies. Unlike the Unknown Fish Phobia, I know exactly what these creatures are and where I can find them. Sea snakes freak me out, as do free-swimming eels (but for some unknown reason eels that are thoroughly parked inside a burrow are fine. Go figure.) Sea urchins make me uncomfortable, perhaps because they reflect my topside fear of needles. I also find highly-poisonous scorpionfish to be creepy, usually because I never seem to spot them until a divemaster merrily points them out. Just for the record, however, I want to point out that large animals, like sharks, rays and whales do not fall into this category. If any of these creatures are reading this post, I want them to know they are not scary and are welcome to join me on any dive.
Fear of Neoprene – My concern falls into two categories: not having my wetsuit on me and having my wetsuit on me. First, similar to chocolate and my big brown dog, I need a wetsuit. Without it, no matter how similar the ocean temperature is to bath water, I get cold and enter a shivering state faster than an octopus can strip a tasty clam. In a last ditch effort to warm up, I sometimes swim back and forth like a crazed tuna, a maneuver that has gotten me “rescued” several times by divemasters thinking I was out of my gourd. Which brings me to my second category of concern: the suits are, by design, tighter than NYC rush hour traffic. They usually have a zipper, put there like bait to lure the diver into thinking they actually have a chance at getting into the suit. I have heard that powder can sometimes enable the process, but no amount of talc could help me win this battle of The Bulge.
Back Roll Dread – A backroll is a highly efficient maneuver to get all divers into the water at once, thus addressing problematic currents or the lack of boat mooring facilities. As I stare out over the horizon, the water looks so very inviting. But once I turn around to face the center of the boat in anticipation of executing the backroll, the inspiration is replaced by panic as I imagine some great sub-aquatic drain plug being pulled, removing all water from the area. As the water recedes, I envision falling to the rocky bottom far below (don’t ask me what the boat is then floating on; my fear never really plays itself out that far) or landing in the jaws of some waiting predator that has been exposed. But then “splash,” I’m in, and the ridiculous phobia fades away as I acclimatize to the beautiful blue around me. I may have some irrational scuba phobias, but fortunately they never seem to last too long.
There comes a time in every diver’s life when your usual dive buddy (wife, husband, partner in crime, lifelong friend, annoying neighbor, twin, etc.) is not able to make the trip, but you are determined to dive anyway. Not to be deterred from the lure of the sea, you boldly climb on the dive boat and start scrutinizing the other divers to see who is going to be your assigned buddy for the day. Sometimes it works out, and a new dive buddy/lifelong friend is made. But, more often then not, you get saddled with The Worst Dive Buddy, the butt of jokes and the basis of buddy comparison for all dives in the future. A few of the unfortunate buddy options:
ADOS Buddy – Attention Deficit…Ooooh Shiny. ADOS Buddy can’t seem to focus on anything for more than a second, making task completion and stimulating conversation impossible. You are the last pair to descend because he forgot his weight belt and has to climb back on the boat to get it. Underwater, curious things continuously pull his attention and his body in the polar opposite direction from you and the rest of the dive group. Before the boat pulls back to the dock he will ask you at least four times “What was the name of that reef that we just visited?” It is okay if you lose your temper with him – he won’t remember you tomorrow.
Scuba Steve Buddy – Scuba Steve knows it all (just look at the endless list of ScubaSteve Twitter sites). What starts out as some interesting ocean factoids on your ride to the reef quickly turns into an overwhelming dissertation about the mating habits of the humuhumunukunukuapuaa fish. He corrects the divemaster during the dive briefing, and wants to point out to you every bit of obscure fish sh*t he encounters during the dive. Note: you can usually tell Scuba Steve Buddy before he even opens his mouth: he’s the one with the enormous trapper-keeper dive log and seven sharpened pencils for recording the details.
I Love Scuba Buddy – This man is moved by the scuba spirit. You can appreciate his enthusiasm, but your hand starts to sting from all the high-5’s he keeps giving you. He claps at the end of the dive briefing. Fascinating underwater finds like seaweed and sand cause him to grab your arm and gesticulate excitedly. Warning: this man will whoop with joy and celebration the moment he breaks the surface at the end of the dive. Do not be alarmed – this is normal behavior for I Love Scuba Buddy, and not nitrogen narcosis.
Clueless Buddy – Has this person ever gone diving before? Clueless Buddy has no idea how to set up their gear, how to function on a dive boat, and even looks like he put on his swimsuit backwards. His weight belt is on the bench seat, he washed his soapy mask in the camera bucket, and he is gazing off into the sunset while a whole line of divers waits behind him to giant stride off the swim platform. Underwater, his hand gestures look like Kabuki Theater and he wants to fondle every living thing in the sea. Fortunately, the fire coral teaches him a lesson before you have to.
2009 seems to have been the year for fanciful forms of oceanic transportation. A recent CNN article highlighted some of the most striking, a collection that left me wondering: Who are the people who buy these things, and do they need a spouse? I would imagine they are well outfitted for Scuba, but I bet you would need a LONG ladder to reach the water from the deck. A few of my favorites:
Ocean Emerald- A 41-meter super-yacht so expensive, even the wealthiest individuals can only afford to own shares. To join the yacht’s “Ownership Lifestyle Programme” will cost an initial payment of €1.875 million and an additional annual service charge of €200,000 which gets you a guaranteed 30 days onboard this floating dream. I have to admit this one looks really cool, with a graceful arched shape and enormous floor to ceiling windows, but the price seems a little steep for a floating timeshare.
Hermes-designed Superyacht – French retailer Hermes and Monaco-based Wally Construct have teamed up to design a 125-foot wide, wedge-shaped yacht offering the ultimate life of luxury on the water. The ship boasts a 82 ft on-board salt water swimming pool, a 118 ft “beach” on the back deck, a spa and a cinema. No one has coughed up the funds to build this one yet, so for now this luxurious ride is just a paper boat.
Oculus – The 76 meter long “Oculus” looks less like a traditional boating vehicle and more like an…orca. A $95 million orca, to be exact. Yes, for that tidy sum you and 11 of your closest friends can ride the killer whale across the sea, or launch your helicopter off the top. If the ocean around you is not enough, you can go for a dip in its indoor swimming pool or just relax with any other of its indulgent onboard amenities. I’m pretty sure you will have no trouble with pirates, who will assume you are either from outer space or are the visual remnants of hallucinations from the prior night’s drinking binge. One downside: you will scare the heck out of seals everywhere you go.
Plastiki – This 20 meter-long catamaran relies solely on trashed soda bottles for buoyancy. Adventurer David Mayer de Rothschild is planning a voyage across the Pacific Ocean on this floating trash pile early next year. (Ok, so I don’t really need to ride on this one.)
Eclipse – This 525-feet monster yacht was built by Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich, who is said to have paid $1.2 B for it. In addition, the guy shelled out another $400M on military-grade defense systems and other James Bond gadgets like hidden chambers, escape pods and tracking devices all to thwart would-be pirates.
Next time you are diving, don’t be surprised if you see an object looking suspiciously like a day-glo yellow Manta Ray fly by. Entrepreneurs from Wales have put on the market the Scubacraft, a strange boat/submersible combo guaranteed to please James Bond fanatics and technogeeks alike.
It’s the perfect gift for the diver who has every trinket known to man. Of course, with a $164k price tag you really have to like that diver. This product uses an internal-combustion engine to reach a dive site, then, at a touch of a button, takes the person onboard under the waves up to a depth of 100ft. There’s no pressurized cabin, so don your gear before pushing button or you’re in for a nasty bath. Computerized “automatic depth control” ensures that the Scubacraft won’t descend or climb too quickly, enabling the captain to avoid a nice case of the bends.
I’m not so sure I’m buying this device anytime soon, however. There is something to be said for the traditional scuba process of motoring out to a dive site with fellow divers on a clunky dive boat, going through the group ritual of suiting up, then returning to the boat afterwards to decompress (literally!) on the way back to the dock. I frequently find myself wanting not to speed up my scuba experiences, but rather slow them down so I can enjoy them longer.
1 Spotted Drum, Value: $3.26 (pretty, but inedible)
In a capitalistic twist on an old topic, Cambridge University-based group The Economics of Ecosystems and Biodiversity (TEEB) quantified the benefits of conserving coral reefs, recently presenting their figures at the Diversitas conference in South Africa. They proposed that coral reefs are worth $172 billion dollars a year to the global economy, a number much higher than originally calculated by other economic environmental groups.
I envisioned researchers out there counting fish and coral (that’s $1.27 for that angelfish, but the grouper is worth at least $5.02 since you can eat ‘em!) But, alas, the calculation was based on a number of factors, calculated at a desk and not in the field, including tourism dollars, food chain contribution and cost avoidance from storm surge damage.
In addition to current value (no pun intended), the group also managed to calculate the return on conservation investment, citing a 7% return on coral reef conservation and a 40% return on mangrove conservation. This basically means that the value we get out of conservation efforts is actually more than the money we put in.
Everybody knows that conceptually, saving the oceans is a good thing to do. This study seems to provide some practical argument for it as well. I just keep picturing little seahorses shaped like dollar signs…
The SILFRA Rift offers insane visibility for extreme divers. Thanks to Scuba Iceland who made me aware of this incredible phenomenon I have to move Iceland up to my #1 location for my next dive trip. The Silfra Crack, where the American and European continents meet, offers three diving sites: Silfra Lagoon, Silfra Cathedral and Silfra Hall. Visibility is an amazing 100m+ (300ft+), but the water is super cold ( 2°C – 4°C all year ) because it is fueled by the runoff of glaciers. If strong currents and mid-dive earthquakes aren’t your thing, you might want to stick to Florida.
Some day I am going to buy a nice boat and sail away from it all. Granted, it will probably be a used row boat and my arms will tire before I even leave the harbor, but hey – I can dream. In the meantime I ogle other’s boats every chance I get, particularly when I am diving off the back.
In keeping my eye out for the best yacht I will never own, I was surprised to read about the latest in yacht design, the seventy-six meter long “Oculus” which looks less like a traditional boating vehicle and more like an…orca. A $95 million orca, to be exact. Yes, for that tidy sum you and 11 of your closest friends can ride the killer whale across the sea, or launch your helicopter off the top. If the ocean around you is not enough, you can go for a dip in its indoor swimming pool or just relax with any other of its indulgent onboard amenities. I’m pretty sure you will have no trouble with pirates, who will assume you are either from outer space or are the visual remnants of hallucinations from the prior night’s drinking binge. One downside: you will scare the heck out of seals everywhere you go.
Though we are coming out of a recession these babies are apparently flying off the shelves. Get one while you can!