Scuba Dive

Sometimes fact is even funnier than fiction.  The articles below represent some of the best ocean-themed headlines I have seen lately.  Click on the headlines for pure reading enjoyment.

Penguin rescue operation under way after south Atlantic oil spill

The penguins are doing a great job.  The hardest part was finding them little parachutes to wear.

Underwater Translator May Finally Let Us Talk to Dolphins

Yes, but do we really want to know what they are saying to us after watching the ‘Cove’

Branson: Deep-sea adventure will reveal ‘extraordinary creatures’

Because everything else in the sea is quite bland.

Experience the life aquatic in your own personal sub

I hope it comes in yellow.

Navy successfully tests prototype ocean-going laser weapon

James Bond would be so proud.

I’m a celebrity, rent my island!

I have a mortgage, kiss my ass!

Another active Atlantic hurricane season expected

Thank you, Captain Obvious, for this story as well as your prior article “Fish found in the Atlantic Ocean.”

Leaping sea creatures: Do we need bigger boats?

No, just better luck.

Four ways to have a whale of a time

Maybe it’s me, but does this sound like it belongs in the “Adult” reading section?

Gotta Watch: eagle ray pins woman

If you are doing something that puts you in a position to wind up with a 300-lb eagle ray on you, you probably shouldn’t be doing that activity in the first place.

Treasure hunters strike gold off Florida coast

Because if it was on the coast it would be called a robbery.