Scuba Dive

NOT a pony...

The coastal south of Belize is not an international tourism hotbed.  It is, however, authentically beautiful to humans and whale sharks alike.  For nine months of the year, the few people who do visit enjoy the peace and tranquility of the sugar-sand beaches with absolutely no crowds.  The place is the antithesis of Cheers, the famous TV bar; there nobody knows your name and few care to, either.

Then the spring comes, and everyone goes crazy because of the fish sex.  During the April, May, and June full moons, the whale sharks visit to dine on the spawning Cubera Snapper eggs, bringing excitement to the sleepy waters of the offshore formation known as Gladden Split.  Crazed divers from around the globe overrun the largest coastal town near the Split, Placencia, using it as a base from which to launch their whale shark efforts, hoping to spot the nomadic, majestic animals.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to swim with these ginormous beauties off of the Split.  The creatures amazed me, as did the profoundly odd way in which some humans reacted to them.  Therefore, I propose the following things NOT to do when you see a whale shark:

Do not make like a plankton – I once heard a fellow diver complaining that he was afraid of being eaten by an enormous whale shark.  I’m not sure if he would have fit in the shark’s mouth, but I do know the shark would not have wanted him in there.  Whale sharks are filter feeders, passing large volumes of water through their gills and straining out the tastiest that float about.  If you are not a planktonic tasty, then remove sacrificial shark feedings from your list of “to do’s” when meeting a whale shark.

Do not break out your saddle – There is something about the ocean that turns some divers into fondlers.  Though on land they seem to be able to keep their hands to themselves, once submerged they inexplicably want to touch everything.  A whale shark is not a pony.  It does not want to be grabbed and ridden.  Even more importantly, touching all manner of sea life is usually detrimental to the item being fondled, as it frequently messes up their external chemistry and introduces disease.  If you must touch something, go find the dog that belongs to the scuba shop and give it a good scratch.  (Then wash your hands…Scruffy absolutely has fleas.)

Do not announce you have seen better ones in an aquarium – There are places in the world where you can see whale sharks in captivity, for example in the Osaka Aquarium and the Georgia Aquarium.  I myself have dove with the whale sharks in the Georgia Aquarium and enjoyed the experience immensely.  But nothing can compare to seeing them in the wild, where their appearance during your dive is never guaranteed and their behavior is not dictated by the tank walls.  (cue the Born Free movie theme here…)

Do not deploy your fishing gear – Unbelievable as it sounds, there are some people, especially in Asia, who see a whale shark and think…lunch.  I have read that the shark has the consistency and taste of tofu.  So, why not eat tofu, and leave the poor fishie alone?  The tofu has got to be easier to catch than the shark anyway.